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Rose's avatar

Very thoughtful piece and "right on" I'd say. That is why so many young people struggle with their "mental health". They do not have the life experience to know that "this too shall pass". To be upset about anything (anything at all) is seen as something to be medicated, or changed, or "fixed" in some unhealthy way. Think drugs, alcohol, gambling, et al. Life is a complicated journey and always has been.

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Brain Candy Blueprint's avatar

Happiness is an inside job but a good environment around us does help. Thoughtful piece.

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Dave's avatar

Timely and informative discussion regarding mental states of happiness and sadness.

Totally agree with the pioneer/American dream influence on the diagnosis and medicinal treatment of depression(sadness) in the US. Happiness and sadness are natural part of the human psyche and our cosmic rhythms. Unfortunately sadness is stigmatized as an imperfection to be treated with the latest advertised medication and the “pursuit” of happiness thought of as the ultimate level of well being.

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Sharle Kinnear's avatar

Really eye-opening! Sadness is not the same as depression. As an American living in a very stressful time, this article really spoke to me. Thanks for your insights.

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Ali Lewis's avatar

Sara Ahmed’s book The Promise of Happiness” really impacted me - the imperative to be happy can be incredibly oppressive. Some people have very good reason to be unhappy and to vocalise that. Also as a teacher I’ve worked with a lot of families terrified of their children being unhappy so they pathologise normal feelings and prevent them building resilience. Great column!

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Gillian Irish's avatar

Thank you! How can we 'measure' or appreciate happiness without experiencing unhappiness?

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Leonard Neamtu's avatar

One's view on sadness definitely has a big impact on happiness in general.

If we accept sadness as a normal part of life, instead of trying to avoid it altogether, the results will be much better for the individual.

Contentment, not happiness.

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Maggie Hollinbeck, M.A., LMFT's avatar

Wow, what a wonderful piece. As a psychotherapist in America, I will say that diagnosis is as much a financial gateway (allowing therapy to be covered by health insurance) as a guide to treatment. Because, America. 😑

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Matt's avatar

Your post really chimes with how I've been thinking since I read Susan Cain's book Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole. Sadness is not only part of life, for some of us it's the completely necessary flipside to happiness. We can't have one without the other. We're drawn to sad films and sad music because we need to feel that emotion too, and happy events are always tinged with a sadness at their fleeting nature. So a relentless pursuit of happiness actually makes us sad!

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Caroline Smrstik's avatar

These are great observations, Helen. I’d not thought before about the pathologization of sadness being particularly American, but it makes sense.

In a recent conversation with the teenaged Swiss manboy, I expressed my concern that he might be in a depression. His reply: “I’m not sad, Mama.”

I explained the difference between being sad and being depressed and saw some flickers of recognition. Then the stubborn wall of resistance went up again. Sigh.

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The Humane Sapiens's avatar

This resonated deeply as someone who grew up with that American 'happiness imperative.'

I've found that mindfulness practices help me accept sadness as a visitor rather than an intruder.

The idea that sadness only makes us sick when we're terrified of being sad is revolutionary!

Makes me wonder how our collective mental health might improve if we stopped pathologizing normal human emotions and built systems that acknowledged life's natural ups and downs.

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